After a breakup, the relationship between you and your ex can implode on itself rather quickly. The one person you cared about more than anyone suddenly becomes someone you feel you need permission to talk to you. Every time you want to communicate you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
But you still love them. You want to fix things. You want your ex back.
So what are you supposed to do?
Today many people spend a lot more time on their cell phone texting than they do actually talking. Therefore trying to text your ex back after a breakup may seem like a logical choice.
The truth is texting your ex CAN be a phenomenally effective method for communicating with your ex. But it doesn’t mean you won’t be met with opposition along the way.
What happens when you text your ex and he or she responds with something like…
- “Don’t ever text me again!”
- “I really don’t want to talk to you right now. It hurts too much.”
- “Leave me alone. I don’t ever want to hear from you again.”
Just seeing those words on your screen feels like a knife cutting through your heart. But it doesn’t mean you’ll never get your ex back.
First, text message examples like the ones above are full of emotion. This is a good thing. Even though it’s negative emotion, it’s better than no emotion at all. Only when your ex simply doesn’t care and is completely apathetic toward you do your chances of getting back together become very bleak. You can often swing negative emotions into positive ones over time using the right techniques.
If you get an aggressive text from your ex, here are things you DON’T want to do…
- Start apologizing repeatedly
- Start begging and pleading with them
- Sending an aggressive text back to defend yourself
- Getting in a fight over text
- Resisting their opposition by continuing to send text messages
- Trying another form of communication such as calling or going over to see them
The above are common mistakes people make when they receive mean or aggressive texts from their ex. Instead of repeating these mistakes yourself, you should understand aggressive texts most often mean your ex just needs more time. More time could be a few days, a few weeks, or even a few months.
The best thing to do in these circumstances is to reply with something like, “Sorry. Hope you’re doing well.” Or, quickly validate their feelings with something like, “I completely understand. Hope you’re well.” Then, don’t text them again for at least several weeks.
It can be extremely hard not to want to plow through their resistance, but trying to do so always causes more harm than good. Back away and let the anger subside.